Well, it certainly has beena while.
My trigger days passed so I'm just in the midst of trying to find myself again right now. In the past my personality has always shifted following it, so I'm in a weird sort of limbo of figuring out who I am I guess. My paranoia and psychosis have been acting up to no end, I keep reading into things and having strange dreams and my brain feels like it's constantly screaming that I'm gonna be broken up with.. which isn't true. But it's still like, I don't know reality. I can't tell what's true or not. My body and my brain are telling me different things and telling me the wrong things so it's just a mess... a mess!!
But today has been somewhat better I think. Managed to go outside. Still haven't seen my friend which is sighs but hey ho... I want to go back to my flat so bad and feel productive even when I'm not. And to feel social even when I'm not. I just can't do anything at home you know? I'm stuck, and I always have been here.
I'm worried about M (like usual). I always wish there was more I could be doing.
also played some more of the Sims 4. Like M it's not my favourite (s3 best) but I usually only play it for building. so far my sim Jamie has gotten married to a celeb lass named celene lopez who showed up to our door one day to help clean? but when we got with her there was no sign she'd ever been a celeb so...?? anyway they have a bio baby together (i love cheating and mc command center) and i baked a cake for the baby to turn into a toddler but babies cant eat cakes but i didnt want it to go to waste so celene ended up eating it and i thpught she was a young adult but now shes an elder and...!!! if she dies it's no biggy tbh she's lvl 4/5 parenting but doesnt like, do anything with the baby except take her out of the stool thing when i NEED TO FEED HER BECAUSE SHE'S HANGRY. ugh celene. also we moved into her gaff in henford on bagley and now the bills are 2k grow UP.
Things I have perused/done today: